This I Promise You
by JediKnightBalthasar
Summary: Songfic, apology to the readers of 'Forever Mithril' for not updating. Legolas and Aragorn share an adventure, learning a few of the harder lessons of life.


Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any recognizable characters or places. "Learning how to Smile" by Everclear is owned by. . .I'm not sure who, but not me.  
  
Author's note: I have no idea where this came from, but it is an apology to the readers of "Forever Mithril", because I have not updated in a long time.  
  
*****  
  
Five miles outside of Vegas when  
  
We broke down  
  
Threw my keys inside that window  
  
And we never looked back  
  
.  
  
Legolas dropped to the other side of the fence, waiting for Estel to do the same. The young mortal scrambled up onto the fence, then he paused. He had caught a glimpse of a shining light in the distance, the light of Imladris, his home. 'Am I sure about this?' he asked himself.  
  
'Home has always been there for me, and although Ada will be angry, it's not too late yet for me to just go home.' His heart tugged in his chest, as if it wanted to be back in the safety of the valley.  
  
"Do you wish to return?" Legolas asked. "I will take you home, if you ask."  
  
Estel paused. Did he? Imladris was home. . .wasn't it? So what if he wasn't an Elf. . .right? He still had a place in the Elven city. Yet he and Legolas had planned this, had spoken in secret of it, shared conspirital smiles. He would not desert his friend now.  
  
Legolas hoped Estel would say yes, that he wanted to go home. Though they had made these plans together, Legolas had viewed them as fantasy. When he had left with Estel, it had been in an angry fit of emotion. Now he wanted to return, wanted to go home--to Mirkwood, his home, or even to Rivendell. Lord Elrond would be angry, that was for sure. Legolas could already hear the lecture, in his head, 'You are older than he is and he looks up to you. His safety is your responsibility in these situations. . .'  
  
Estel threw his words to the wind. "Let us go, Legolas. We have stayed too long."  
  
They shouldered their packs and continued on, each wishing the other had decided against this trip, and neither daring to turn around, knowing the lights of Imladris would call them home.  
  
.  
  
We got all drunk and sloppy on a  
  
Greyhound bus  
  
We passed out cold so  
  
All them losers  
  
They were laughing at us.  
  
.  
  
"You sure he's old enough to drink?" the suspicious bartender asked Legolas.  
  
"Positive," Legolas replied. The bartender eyed Estel, still uncertain, but gave them their drinks. As soon as he was gone, Legolas whispered, "Are you all right, Estel?"  
  
"Just fine," Estel replied.  
  
Both the boys had been faint with relief when they reached Bree after two weeks on the move. They were both tired of days of walking, being chased out of barns by the odd farmer, and sleeping with one eye open. The Prancing Pony was a prominent inn at the town of Bree, so the two had headed there first. Knowing a thing or two about the world, they had enough money with them to afford a room for the night.  
  
Each retired to their rooms, across the hall from each other. They made an awkward job of washing their clothes, and themselves, scrubbing layers of dirt of their skin. After cleaning up and sleeping in a real bed for a few hours, they met downstairs in the pub for supper.  
  
A few people approached them, and they were amiable if wary. They made an odd pair. Legolas had made himself look dignified enough, light brown hair pulled back into a ponytail and face washed, almost completely without sunburn, just the smallest bit effeminate. Estel was nearly a head shorter than his counterpart, black mop he called hair hanging all about his head, ruddy-faced and burned pink.  
  
"You look twelve," Legolas had joked. Estel took his age very seriously, full up on his sixteen years. Most of the strangers made a joke or two about Estel being a child, or a young boy. The teen took these in stride, if with a touch of alcohol.  
  
Night fell. Estel, having had one too many ales, passed out drunk. He fell to the floor before Legolas could catch him. This was met by a few chuckles. "Bedtime, little guy," Legolas muttered, scooping up the unconscious Estel and carrying him upstairs.  
  
The next morning, Estel knocked lightly on Legolas's door. "It is time to leave this place," he said. "I saw Glorfindel outside today, though he did not see me. He knows us both, we must go."  
  
So they packed their things and said goodbye to Bree.  
  
.  
  
I will never let them break  
  
your heart  
  
I will never let them break me  
  
*  
  
We got lost in Phoenix  
  
Seemed like such a long time  
  
Seven months of living sweaty  
  
On those thin white lines  
  
*  
  
I did some time  
  
For selling acid to the wrong guy  
  
Life just keeps on getting smaller  
  
And we never ask why  
  
.  
  
"This is amazing. . ." Estel breathed. The two stood on the planes of Rohan, looking out over the land. Legolas nodded, smiling at the youngster. Estel looked up and caught that grin, scowling. They laughed, punching each other playfully. "What do we do now, O old one?"  
  
"We wait," Legolas replied. Before Estel could ask why, there was a great rumbling, and the ground shook. Riders on great horses came to the duo, circling them, spears pointed.  
  
"Who are you, and what business have you in Rohan?" asked one of the riders.  
  
"Legolas, of Mirkwood," Legolas said. Estel was shocked. He was offering his name freely? Was that a safe decision? "And this is Strider. Of the North," he improvised. "We are travelers, and have no other business here."  
  
"It follows with the laws of our land that you must appear before Theoden, king of Rohan."  
  
"Now wait just one minute," Estel protested. He and Legolas had done nothing wrong, there was no reason to apprehend them. Legolas punched Estel on the arm, a little too hard, and Estel shut his mouth, rubbing the sore spot from Legolas's punch.  
  
The King of Rohan did not seem at all cruel, so the knot of fear in Estel's chest seemed to have been for naught. "Have you run away?" Theoden asked. "It is rare that one as young as yourself should be on his own," this was directed at Estel.  
  
"Yes, sir," Estel admitted. Theoden and the others in his hall laughed. Estel burned.  
  
"Worry not, young one. Where ever you have come from, I am sure it is known where you are and why," Theoden said.  
  
Legolas and Estel were given lodgings in Rohan. They agreed to spend no more than a week there, although they both enjoyed the atmosphere of the place, and marveled at the uncanny horses. However, a slight misdemeanor prolonged their stay.  
  
"Come on, I dare you," Estel prodded, nudging his friend's shoulder.  
  
"I told you no," Legolas replied, somewhat angrily.  
  
"I should have known you would be too much of a sissy," Estel said, jeering his friend.  
  
"All right, shrimp boy," Legolas said through clenched teeth. With a racing heart and sweaty palms he ducked into a bakery, bought a roll and stole a second one. He hurried back out, shoving his prize into Estel's hands. "There, happy?" he asked, and he stalked off.  
  
The two did not see each other again until that night. "Legolas, I--" Estel began. Legolas looked up at him, and the look on his face made Estel swallow before he continued, "I am very sorry, Legolas, for forcing you to do that."  
  
"I told the woman at the bakery what I did," Legolas muttered.  
  
"You what?" Estel demanded, shocked.  
  
"I told her. She said she would keep it quiet, but she wants me to work in her shop for a week," Legolas added.  
  
"We were going to leave tomorrow."  
  
"An extra few days cannot hurt."  
  
Legolas kept true to his word, appearing at the bakery every afternoon. He swept the floor, mostly, and washed dishes. It was not at all enjoyable work, but Legolas felt good about working off his crime. At the end of the week, the baker told him, "You seem like a good boy, that is why I did not report you. Just keep those hands in your own pockets. Good luck."  
  
"Thank you," Legolas said.  
  
Those afternoon, left to his own devices, Estel walked around the city, taking in every sight he saw, every smell on the air, every voice sounding. He lost himself in the winding streets, and in his own mind, but always resurfaced. After sprinting around a few corners, Estel would recognize the area and make his slow way back to his and Legolas's quarters.  
  
At the end of the week, Estel returned to find Legolas packing his things. "Are we leaving already?" Estel asked.  
  
"We are," Legolas replied. "We have stayed out our time here." Noticing Estel's look, he added, "No need for sorrow, little brother. This is an adventure, u-naa?"  
  
"Yes. . ." Estel agreed. In his heart he knew that much more wandering and he would never leave. Still, he felt some sadness as he and Legolas said their farewells, and made their way away from Rohan.  
  
.  
  
Why there is no perfect place  
  
Yes I know this is true  
  
I'm just learning how to smile  
  
And that's not easy to do  
  
.  
  
A sigh escaped Legolas's lips as he collapsed in the hay. Estel fell next to him a few seconds later. They had only just left Rivendell and were headed for Bree, a week and a half into their journey. Beneath them, a cow's mournful moo sounded.  
  
The boys had jumped the fence into the pasture, them made their sneaked way to the barn. Just as they were shutting the barn door, they heard the farmer call something to his herd of cows. Fearfully, the sprinted up to the hayloft.  
  
Neither dared make a sound. Their hearts would not slow as they heard the farmer come into the barn. He spoke to his cattle as he fed and watered them. Estel dared to glance at Legolas, and a smile broke over his lips. Legolas had not seen that smile in a long time, it was a real smile, not one he faked for someone else's benefit.  
  
Legolas himself smiled, pressing a finger to Estel's lips so the boy would not laugh. As soon as the farmer left the barn, every sound seemed to stop. Each heartbeat seemed as if it would echo louder than the sounding of a horn. Finally they dared to breathe again.  
  
Estel rolled onto his back, laughing. Legolas shushed him before he got too loud, but they giggled together in the muffling hay. Neither boy could say just what it was that was so funny, but whatever if was, there was no possible price for it.  
  
Later that night, Estel had his brilliant idea. As Legolas could not stop him, together they crept down into the main area of the barn. One cow noticed them, and lazily but inquisitively lolled her head. Legolas gently calmed the animal. "Any calmer and she will not stand on her own," Estel quipped. They laughed. Taking turns, each stole a squirt of milk right from the cow's udder.  
  
"That was good," Estel commented, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand as they walked up to their temporary sleeping area.  
  
"Good times, mate. Good times."  
  
.  
  
I know there will come a day  
  
When we can leave  
  
And just go running away  
  
.  
  
"Are you happy, Estel?" Legolas asked as they strolled through the woods near Rivendell. "It is long since I saw you smile, save those lies you tell your brothers and your father."  
  
"I am not," Estel replied. "I feel that I am growing up, yet because I am not an Elf, no one sees this! I am no longer a child, Legolas, but they treat me like one."  
  
"I get the same treatment," Legolas mused.  
  
"You do? Why?" Estel's attention was caught. Legolas was not ready to tell him why, about the self-mutilation and the punishment for it: the treatment as a baby.  
  
"Ah, just my father not wanting to see me grow up too quickly," Legolas lied.  
  
"Let us run away," Estel said suddenly. "Together, you and me. We can make our way across all Middle-earth, living truly free."  
  
"All right, Estel," Legolas said spontaneously. "We shall."  
  
.  
  
We were broke outside of Philly  
  
When the storm came  
  
I was working in New Jersey  
  
Hitching rides in the rain  
  
*  
  
You was happy talking dirty  
  
At that phone sex place  
  
Life just keeps on getting  
  
Weirder for us  
  
Everyday  
  
.  
  
"We are out of money," Estel said.  
  
"I know," Legolas replied. They had been on their own for six months. They had first left Rivendell as the last snow melted very late in the winter. Estel had turned sixteen on the road to Bree, or perhaps to Rohan--they no longer knew dates. Summer was waning now, and the two had come to Gondor.  
  
"We can not live off of milk stolen from cows," Estel informed him. "But perhaps we could offer to work at the farms for a meal. After all, they do not know that we steal a night in their hay lofts here and there."  
  
"Estel, you are a genius!" Legolas exclaimed.  
  
They would find work with a farmer in the day, though most were suspicious at first, both of Estel's youth and Legolas's weak look, but by the end of the day they had always found a meal. Of course, this complicated the hayloft business quite a bit. Knowing a farmer and sleeping in his barn was different than just "borrowing" space in a stranger's hay.  
  
"It is not stealing," Estel insisted. But Legolas was unsure. "Now we know where there are dogs," Estel said brightly, remembering all too well the time a dog had caught them unawares and they had been chased from their perch.  
  
"No matter what, we will manage," Legolas said. "We always do."  
  
.  
  
You say there is no perfect place  
  
I say I know this is true  
  
We are just learning how to smile  
  
And that's not easy to do  
  
*  
  
We both live for the day  
  
When we can  
  
Run away  
  
Ah baby we can leave  
  
And run away  
  
We can leave this place  
  
And run away  
  
We can leave it all behind like we do every time  
  
*  
  
Yes we both live for the day  
  
When we can leave  
  
And just go running away  
  
.  
  
The landowner was named Dale. He was thirty-seven years old, and had dark blonde hair and blue eyes. He had inherited the land when his father died. Dale worked his acres alone, so when the two strangers asked if he would take their work in exchange for a meal, he had no reason to say no.  
  
Estel and Legolas were used to interrogation during meals, men trying to find out if they were convicts or dangerous. Dale was different, amiable and trusting. "Where are you from?" he asked, as if he were really interested.  
  
"Rivendell," Estel replied, "and my friend here is from Mirkwood." There seemed no reason to lie. Dale was not after bounty or about to turn them in.  
  
"How fascinating! What was it like? I have never been out of Gondor, myself."  
  
"Mirkwood is. . .a lot of big trees," Legolas replied. "There is a problem with Orcs, Wargs, and especially spiders, but it is nice despite all that."  
  
"Rivendell is all peaceful, not an Orc or Warg to be found. Although sometimes peaceful becomes, simply, lack of eventfulness."  
  
The rest of the meal passed quickly, and the three returned to their work. As the sun set, Dale asked, "Where will you be going, now?"  
  
"We have a place. . .a little ways off," Legolas lied.  
  
"I see. If you would like, you are welcome to come back here. If you ever need a place to stay, or another day's meal, you are welcome."  
  
Legolas and Estel exchanged glances. They liked Dale; he seemed like a good person and a good employer. Perhaps sometime. . .  
  
Within a week, they were staying with Dale. A routine developed, and the boys felt not like runaways or warriors (as they were always told they would become), but simple farmers, making their way in the world. Nothing much important happened, but they were content with things as easy to understand and predict as they were. One day, as they broke land for planting crops, Estel looked to the horizon and noticed a horse and rider.  
  
Thinking nothing of this, he did not tell the others. Legolas's Elven ears heard hoofbeats, and he, too, ignored the sound. They hardly paid mind to anything, until they heard a cry of, "Estel! Legolas!" Turning, both froze.  
  
Legolas was the first one to regain his composure. "Hello, Elrohir."  
  
"Hello Elrohir indeed!" Elrohir exclaimed. "Do you have any idea what you have caused? The trouble and worry you have put everyone through?"  
  
"We were just fine, Elrohir! Would you relax? It is not as though we died," Estel said. Elrohir did not respond, but to cuff his brother a bit too hard on the side of the head.  
  
"Thank you for keeping my brother and his friend safe," Elrohir said to Dale, who tipped his hat in response. "Come on, Estel. You are coming home."  
  
"I do not want to leave," Estel protested, tugging to get out of Elrohir's gripped. Estel stopped struggling only when Legolas's hand rested on his shoulder.  
  
"We have done it all, Estel. We have seen the lands, breathed the air. Yet every place we found to be leaving. You know it would have happened sooner or later."  
  
With heavy hearts, Legolas and Estel bid Dale farewell, and with Elrohir headed out of Gondor.  
  
.  
  
No I will never let it break  
  
your heart  
  
No I will never let it break me  
  
.  
  
"Elladan, I have found them," Elrohir said, as he met up with his twin. "You will not believe what a baby our brother has been."  
  
"Let us just find a place to rest for the night," Elladan said. Exhaustion sounded in his voice, and his shoulders turned inward as if he had not the strength to sit up properly. Legolas and Estel felt awful for having caused this. Legolas knew now precisely how wrong he had been, but Estel stood true to his beginning emotions.  
  
That night, the four had started a fire after deciding where to stay. Elrohir began to explain what had happened--with his own embellishments. Estel did not agree with the way he was described, but he kept quiet. As he lay awake that night, Elladan approached Elrohir. "Why are you so angry at Estel?" Elladan asked softly.  
  
"He was not going to come home, Elladan," Elrohir whispered. "He. . .we did our best with him, did we not?"  
  
"This day was coming, Elrohir," Elladan said. "He is not an Elf, and in an Elven society that can be trying. We acted as though he was younger than he actually was, because mortals age much faster than Elves. He just wanted to get away. He meant no harm, he just failed to think. He is a good egg, Elrohir."  
  
"I cannot bring myself to forgive him."  
  
"Elrohir," Elladan said with a cynical laugh, "you know how angry Ada is going to be. You have no need to punish him, he will be in so much trouble when we get him home."  
  
Estel's tears fell softly after his brothers had gone to sleep. "Estel," Legolas said, "Elrohir is allowed to be angry. You know what you did."  
  
"Was it that wrong?" Estel asked.  
  
"Yes, yes it was," Legolas replied. "Both of us did wrong. But this is nothing to beat yourself up about. You still have a lot of people to face up to. People are going to treat you as if you were even younger than before. Are you ready for that?"  
  
"No," Estel said.  
  
"Well, you had better get ready. You have me to rely upon, but I cannot assure that that will always be so."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
.  
  
Five miles outside of Vegas  
  
Five years down the line  
  
We got married in the desert  
  
In the sunshine  
  
*  
  
I can handle all the hell  
  
That happens every day  
  
When you smile and touch my face  
  
You make it all just go away  
  
.  
  
"Legolas!" The Elf paused and turning, trying to find who had said his name. Finally he singled out a man, his face looking aged yet young. Grey eyes were fixed intently on the Elf. "Legolas, it has been to long." The man dismount, hugging Legolas as if they are old friends.  
  
"I am sorry, but who are you?" Legolas inquired. The man drew back.  
  
"Only five years and you have forgotten even my name," tears fell with his words. "Estel, I was called, and Aragorn I am now. Still does this not stir any memory?"  
  
"Estel! I had not forgotten you, only I had not expected you so grown," Legolas replied. "Come, walk with me." The two strolled through the trees, remembering what had happened the last time they strolled together. "How have you been?"  
  
"Evil grows more powerful day by day. Sauron regains strength, if slowly. Keeping these evils at bay, it is. . .oh, it is not easy, but I manage. There are days when no hope is in sight, and I am ready to give up, yet hope always comes again." Aragorn had told no one of these cares and worries. It felt good to have the weight of them gone, but still he was troubled.  
  
"I am surprised, little brother," Legolas said, coming to a stop. He cupped Aragorn's face in his hands. Aragorn felt the cool skin against his own, nearly always burned from exposure to the sun, and felt himself relax. "I never thought I would see you this old. Thought you would be a child forever. You are doing a wonderful job, Aragorn son of Arathorn, at everything you are doing. I see it day by day."  
  
"It is not--"  
  
"You are a true hero," Legolas interrupted.  
  
Aragorn felt as if he could take on the world.  
  
.  
  
Yes I know there ain't no  
  
finish line  
  
I know this never ends  
  
We are just learning how to fall  
  
And climb back up again  
  
*  
  
I know there is nothing perfect  
  
I know there is nothing new  
  
We are just learning  
  
How to live together  
  
Me and you  
  
.  
  
"He was hard on you, wasn't he?"  
  
Estel did not answer Legolas's question. Instead he fell onto his bed, hugging a pillow to his chest. Legolas sat beside him, stroking the younger boy's hair. "You have to understand, Estel--"  
  
"Go away," Estel croaked.  
  
"I only want to help."  
  
"Go away!" he shouted. "You are not supposed to be here! Go away and leave me alone!"  
  
Shocked, Legolas left the room. He only understood when he met Elrohir in the corridor. "You and Estel are not to see each other any more," Elrohir said. "By Lord Elrond's order. He is very upset about this, Legolas. Do not try his patience."  
  
"Then you should go and speak to your brother," Legolas replied.  
  
"This is only beginning for him," Elladan said. "Now is his study time. In perhaps a week, Estel will have to rejoin our society. This shall be his test, you see. Every day he will endure the scrutiny of others, the shame of what he has done. His courage and his will our tested then, and for ever more. Redemption will come to him in many years."  
  
.  
  
You know I like for the day  
  
When you say  
  
"baby let's just run away"  
  
*  
  
Ah baby we can leave  
  
And run away  
  
Yes we can leave this place  
  
And run away  
  
Baby we can leave  
  
And run away  
  
Yes we can leave this place  
  
And run away  
  
We can leave this place  
  
And run away  
  
We can leave this place  
  
And run away  
  
We can leave this place  
  
And run away  
  
.  
  
Estel felt the wind in his hair, the cold biting at his cheeks. Red and orange leaves fell from the trees around him. He could hear a waterfall running somewhere in the distance.  
  
He was eighteen years old, riding through a home that was no longer his. He had not seen his best friend in over two years, despite perfect behavior. Privileges had eventually been returned to him, such as riding, but still there was the judgment, and still the shame.  
  
Today had been unusually bad. The younger Elflings, some that had been his childhood friends and still remained children as Elves age slowly, had given him no peace. Violence would have solved things, but for various reasons would not be the best answer.  
  
Under the stars, Estel sighed, shrugging off his troubles as he raced the wind on horseback. "I could do it now," he whispered to no one. "I could leave this place, never return. I could see Legolas again, return to Dale's farm." He laughed at himself. "What a dream. Yet slow and perhaps over a course of forever, I will make myself known as trustworthy. I will never run again. This I promise you."  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
u-naa = is it not (very, very roughly) 


End file.
